Seriously. If you're heading into fatherhood for the first time let's not just assume that it's super easy. Being a parent is hard. Like, really hard. Like, the hardest thing you will ever do. Now, just because I am a generous person I will NOT mention that it is the woman who has to carry the child nine months, push the baby out of her vagina, and then bleed for several weeks afterwards while her hormones run cray-cray as the baby uses her boobs like a 7/11.
Newborns poop. A lot. They cough, they poop. They cry, they poop. They fart, they poop. They poop, you go to change them, and then they poop on the changing table and carpet and then start to pee. It's what they do.
Newborns cry. A lot! It's not like they can just say, "hey, you, get off your lazy ass and feed me." They don't develop proper communication skills until they are at least graduated from College. So get used to the sound of crying. Also, just when you are about to close your eyes and settle in for a few moments of restful slumber, assume that baby is just going to start crying again.
Newborns like to be held. A lot. They never want to be put down. It's hard to vacuum the house in high heels while cooking a roast for dinner. And now it's even harder with a baby that won't let you have two free hands for just five minutes. Seriously, sometimes all you want to do is go pee without having to figure out how to take down your pants, wipe, and then pull your pants back up with one hand all while trying not to jostle the waking baby. Because if you wake that baby up, he or she will cry, and then they will poop. And then you are back to square one.
So, for the sake of a Mom on Meds, please let's not assume that parenthood is one trip down easy street. Part of being human means having human reactions. Laughing, crying, loving, and putting your clothes on inside out and backwards to hide the stains is part of the experience. Don't be perfect. Be a parent!
